The Death
Yeah so my dad’s best friend died on Wednesday. Here’s how it happened:
He was diagnosed with cancer about 3 weeks ago. He tried for two weeks to get a Dr.’s appointment to see how bad it really was. He couldn’t even get a returned phone call.
Now all my days get mixed up here, but I think it was on Wednesday he finally got in and they took a CAT Scan. He had tumors from his bladder to his lungs but the Dr. seemed to think it was treatable with chemotherapy. But he had to go see yet another Dr.
So on Thursday he was in so much pain he went to the hospital and they immediately admitted him and started doing tests. On Sunday his wife came to church alone and that was the first time I cried. I went to hug her to tell her we loved her and we both just started sobbing. On Monday they took a biopsy of his liver and for 6hrs they couldn’t get it to stop bleeding. When it did stop, it was dead. They put him on dialysis.
Tuesday he was having trouble breathing so they sedated him and put breathing tubes down his throat. On Tuesday night, his heart stopped twice and on Wednesday, at 5:30 am, they called his wife and said he wasn’t going to make it. She called my mom and dad and they got there at about 6 am.
When my mom called me at 8 and told me, in the back of my mind I thought she was being dramatic. I think, originally, she kind of did too. She didn’t really think they meant it. But when they got to the hospital they found out that the Dr.’s were just waiting for everyone to get there to take him off the machines. He was really already dead.
They unplugged him and my mom and dad, his wife and two kids, my pastor and his wife, and two other couples they are good friends with, held hands and prayed around his bed until he took his last breath 45 min. later.
So that’s what happened. At this point, I’m sad and angry and I really don’t have a lot to say about it, and for me, that’s rare….
Hi,
My parents both died from cancer 8 years ago and one month apart from each other. With my father we had known for over a year, my mom maybe a month. I still get angry, they both had wonderful help, just the idea of cancer makes me angry now as in the last 8 years my brothers and sister and I have lost 6 other people besides my parents to cancer and two others to heart disease. My cousin’s 3 yr old was diagnosed with Leukemia about 6 months ago and two of my friends have breast cancer. I just plain hate the word now. Can’t stand it, can’t even tell people who have it they will be ok cuz now I don’t believe it any more. Cancer is an ugly, terrible, ravaging disease. I am glad, and I mean no offense, that they died before suffering more. My mother’s bones were breaking because she had cancer in her bones (it metatisized and spread) and that makes your bones very brittle. They wanted to leave her lying in the hospital bed until she died without operating on her hip when her hip broke. We could not stand that. My mother’s brain was working fine and we just didn’t understand how they could willingly leave her lying their with a broken hip. We were lucky a doctor decided to operate. Crap, I still cry now about this. I had nightmares about my dad dying because it was gruesome. All I can say is, cuz now I am babbling so I better stop now before I really go off on a bigger tangent, is to talk to people and don’t hold it in. I am a heart patient and when we first found out my dad had cancer I was having to take nitro pills all the time due to stress. Once I told my doctor about my dad and why I was taking my nitro, it helped relieve the stress. So do talk to people and keep doing so as long as you need to. Ok? I can’t say it gets better on this one cuz I really went from being a person who lost one person to a person losing too many people to this disease (one is too many) and not understanding how after all these years they are not much closer to a cure at this point.
I am so, so sorry for your loss and your families lost. It is very hard, especially when unexpected and swift as it was. With my dad we kinda had time to prepare if that makes sense, with my mother and all the others, no. They were all shockers. If you need to cry, do so, not that I think it helps alleviate the loss so much as it relieves some of the anxiety you may feel. Give everyone a big hug and kiss, love them and keep them precious.
Betty (Petalice on Twitter)
That should say Loss at the end, not lost. Sorry.
Thank you so much for your heartfelt support. I am sorry for the people you have lost too. The funeral is tomorrow. I am hoping for some closure, at least, a little.